MTD Vocal Freedom

University was a challenge. I arrived at Fresher’s Week already nervous about losing my voice. My worst fears were soon confirmed. Fresher’s Week involved non-stop socialising and a full week of clubbing – yelling introductions into people’s ears over blaring music. By the end of the week I was distraught – my voice was barely a whisper. 

During Fresher’s the GOAL was to connect with as many new potential friends as possible. Again and again you’d perform the same routine, repeating who you were, where you came from and what you were there to study. By the end of the week I could barely utter a ‘hello’ and was painfully reduced to silence and mime. ‘I’ve lost my voice’, I would mouth, pointing at my throat and laughing, as if this was all just a hilarious anecdote to me.

What was even less funny was that auditions for all the first university productions began the week after Fresher’s. If I wanted to get into the musical theatre scene, the time was now. But my voice was hoarse and my confidence was shot. 

With the knowledge that the clubbing scene at university was unlikely to slow down, I felt hopeless. Unless something changed, I would perpetually be hoarse, unable to fully express myself, relax or sing. My hopes, dreams and sense of self all relied on my voice functioning. Who was I without it? This was not just a vocal problem, it was a full-blown identity crisis. 

It was terrifying. I very much knew and even liked who I was when I started University. Three years followed where I completely lost myself. While I did have some funny memories, adventures and moments of achievement at university, my persistent voice issues and getting ‘diagnosed’ with MTD turned my world upside down. My confidence and self-esteem crumbled. I felt adrift, and there was a soul-crushing darkness about the whole thing. It started with Fresher’s.

If you’ve ever felt alone and isolated and unable to connect with others due to a vocal challenge, please do get in touch. There is so much value in knowing you are not alone!