MTD Vocal Freedom

From Myers Briggs to Enneagram, we love taking personality tests that categorise us into different ‘types’ of people. After all, it’s validating and comforting to feel seen. But here is the dark side of having a ‘type’ of personality – some personality traits can keep our bodies in a state of chronic stress, or in what we call a ‘fight-or-flight’ response.

Characteristics that can make us more prone to chronic stress include:

• Perfectionism
• Low self-esteem
• People-pleasing
• High self-expectations
• Being overly responsible
• Avoiding conflict
• Constant self-criticism
• Anxiety
• A need to be liked or in control

These traits often come with internal pressure. And when that pressure is constant, it tells our nervous systems that we’re not safe – even if there’s nothing ‘bad’ going on externally.

Imagine two people experiencing heartbreak. One is an optimist with solid self-esteem. The other is highly self-critical and prone to rumination. Who suffers more? Likely the second. Not because the heartbreak is worse, but because their internal dialogue traps them in a stress cycle.

When people say ‘be kind to yourself’, it often sounds like fluff, doesn’t it? But it’s actually not. It’s biological. Chronic stress can literally originate inside our heads in our internal self-talk, and be perpetuated that way too. Our modus operandi matters. The way we relate to ourselves every day can either teach our bodies that we’re safe, or that we’re in danger.

How does this relate to singing?

Mastery in singing, and probably all art forms, involves killing our ego. It’s about feeling the emotions of the song and effectively communicating them to your audience. When the magic happens, there is no preoccupation with identity or achievement. Only presence and connection.

Unfortunately many singers get entangled in a web of perfectionism and self-criticism. They judge their sound, wonder if people think they’re a good singer, or become apprehensive or fearful about particular notes or phrases in a song. But if we’re always looking to ‘achieve’ and we’re constantly pushing ourselves to higher standards, we end up losing the presence, creativity and flow that make singing fun in the first place. Plus, the more we wrestle with self-doubt, over-analysis and self-criticism when we sing, the more we teach our bodies that singing is not safe. That’s when singing starts to nudge us into fight or flight.

What’s the good news?

Human beings are always in flux. We fail and adapt, we collapse and rebuild, we lose faith and re-imagine. Many of these changes in us are unconscious, but we can also consciously become whoever we want to be with consistent and patient practice. What we call our ‘personality’ is mostly down to a series of mental and behavioural habits, influenced by what has happened in our lives. Our genetic tendencies can be adapted in a positive way. Habits can be changed. And trauma, as we know, can be healed.

If you’d like to get in touch (even just to say hi) I’d love to hear from you! There’ll be new posts every week.