MTD Vocal Freedom

When I was ‘diagnosed’ with muscle tension dysphonia I was sitting in a brightly lit hospital room, having just had a camera on a long wire inserted into my nose and all the way down into my throat. I hadn’t been into many hospitals in the past which made the whole situation feel even more bizarre and foreign. It felt… well, medical. I had a diagnosis, and a treatment plan. The story had been formed: I had a health problem. My body was malfunctioning. To me, this felt terrifying.

Not only was I terrified that my voice wasn’t functioning, now I was also terrified that I had a medical issue. I was so scared of vocalising ‘wrong’ and hurting myself, and tension was now associated with danger. That’s when the entanglement really began.

Diagnosing health conditions is, of course, hugely important. When you present with physical symptoms that indicate something is wrong it’s important to have a doctor examine you, and usually diagnosing a physical problem in the body somewhere can lead to treatment – medicine or an operation, for example. Diagnosing a vocal problem like MTD however is different. MTD is a habitual issue with tension. There’s no structural issue. Classifying it as a diagnosis only served to terrify me further.

If what I know now had been effectively communicated to me, I’m sure it could have changed my trajectory.

Vocal tensions happen for all sorts of very personal reasons – reasons that I will explore in this blog week by week. Your voice is a reflection of you, not just in this moment now, but every moment leading up to now – your emotional history, your influences, your aspirations. It reflects how you feel in your body and how you’re doing emotionally. In the case of MTD, it often reflects a past where emotions have been buried, unexpressed, and your relationship with your body has become estranged as a result. Tension, discomfort and even pain have become the norm. The pathway back? Unsurprisingly, it’s all about reconnecting with your body, processing old emotions and coming into alignment with yourself once more.

This is not to say that all you should receive is therapy as treatment for MTD. There are definitely two components to healing, and one is physical. It is vital that we do the vocal exercises that ENT specialists recommend. These exercises, such as SOVT exercises (I will cover all of this later on) are essential to teach your body healthier, less effortful vocal habits. For some people, these may even be enough to move on and vocalise healthily forever more. I suspect for many though, like for me, there will be some psychological resistance. MTD doesn’t happen by accident, and sometimes tensions subconsciously serve as a protective mechanism ‘to keep you safe’ from something. That means that over time, you might find old patterns re-emerging or that, with the best will in the world, you can’t quite stick to the exercises.

My approach to healing from MTD is very much a holistic one. Yes, we need to teach our bodies to vocalise more efficiently through vocal exercises, so that healthier vocalising becomes the go-to over time (thank god for neuroplasticity). But often, we need to investigate the why. Why did MTD show up in the first place? Tackle the root causes, and that’s where we’re guaranteed to get lasting, meaningful change.

If you’d like to get in touch (even just to say hi) I’d love to hear from you! There’ll be new posts every week.